Many articles will tell you how to succeed at NaNoWriMo. Those "how to" articles are aimed at writers, and talk about workable plots, gripping characters, tricks for reaching a daily wordcount, etc.
In contrast, this article isn't intended for writers, scribbling away at the next NaNoWriMo "masterpiece". This is a "how to" aimed at the spouses, partners and family members of people who are participating in NaNoWriMo. The goal is to show you how to stay sane in a NaNoWriMo household. Follow this advice, and your "writer" will come back to his or her senses in no time.
Tip #1: Insist that your partner stick to his or her diet. Writing a #nanowrimo is no excuse for extra calories.
Tip #2: Mealtimes are family times. Writing a #nanowrimo is no excuse for not being a part of every meal. That includes breakfast.
Tip #3: The laundry, gutters, lawn and all the other chores still need to be done. Writing a #nanowrimo is no excuse for a messy house.
Tip #4: Christmas is coming soon. Your partner can work on #nanowrimo later; insist on going over, together, catalogs as they arrive.
Tip #5: Isolation is a sign of a sick mind. Insist that your partner be in the TV room with you in the evenings, not off on that #nanowrimo.
Tip #6: Plenty of sleep is the foundation of good health. Don't let your partner stay up late to work on #nanowrimo. Or get up early.
Tip #7: Use air-quotes with your fingers when referring to the #nanowrimo "novel" your partner is "writing". He/she needs to lighten up.
Tip #8: Put #nanowrimo in a green perspective. Remind your partner how much electricity that laptop is wasting.
Tip #9: It's simple logic - if anyone off the street can sign up to do #nanowrimo, then it must not be a big deal, so why bother?
Tip #10: Reassure your partner that you will still love them, even though they want to waste the best month of the year on #nanowrimo.
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These simple tips for sabotaging #nanowrimo partners everywhere brought to you by the Aliteracy Foundation. "AF: Don't Read"
I saw these coming across my Twitter feed. They were great!
ReplyDelete~jon
Give spouse/partner/children $200 and keys to the car. While they are out, have the locks changed. Your word count will soar.
ReplyDeleteThese are so funny! My favorite is #5, but I'm also quite partial to #7 because "air quotes" just make me "laugh" "everytime!"
ReplyDeleteAir quotes. I vote air quotes for my favorite. Whoops -- I mean "air quotes."
ReplyDeleteI will NOT be giving wife link to this blog.
Jeff
Oh how fun! LOL Thanks for posting these!
ReplyDeleteGah! Glad I didn't see this during NaNo, it would have driven me crazy! :)
ReplyDeleteNo idea why this one attracts spam, unless spam is searching for NaNoWriMo particularly.
These are brilliant!
ReplyDeleteI'm glad you liked them, everyone!
ReplyDelete