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#FridayFlash: The Girl at the Window

The Girl at the Window

by Tony Noland

Tommy Arken was in no position to curse anyone, not with Mr. Holsopple in such a bad mood and looking right at him. After making them run ten laps around the gym, that fat, smelly old man had them doing wind sprint relay races. Holsopple had already yelled at Tommy once, called him a lazy pantywaist in front of the whole class. Tommy would have cursed him with two hundred fifty-six, the square of a square of a square, but Holsopple kept looking over at him. He had no choice but to keep his head down and run. He would curse his classmates later, the ones who had laughed, anyway.

With a lunge, he handed his orange plastic baton to Danny Rickman, who took off back towards the other side of the gym. Tommy stood with the other boys on his team, breathing hard. He would join in the yelling when he caught his breath. His side hurt and he was swallowing lots of spit. He darned near threw up with all the running, yet another reason to put a curse on Holsopple.

Holding his side, Tommy stared hard at Holsopple, focusing on him for nine heartbeats, a small curse. If he'd gone for sixteen or twenty five, Holsopple would have noticed and probably yelled at him again. He didn't want to risk accidentally blessing the fat jerk by having to stop on a prime number before he'd reached a square.

He looked away after delivering his curse and saw a girl at one of the windows on the east wall. Up until this year, the boys and girls had all done gym together; now, in fifth grade, for some reason the girls all had gym with Ms. Willot and the boys were all with Holsopple. Tommy squinted at the girl, but he couldn't tell who it was because she was backlit through the windows, hidden in her own shadow. What was she doing? Just watching the boys do gym class?

As he looked at her, she shifted position. Her half-turn allowed the sunlight to frame her, and he recognized Sally Worrel's smooth face and dark eyebrows. Their eyes met and for a moment, she just gazed in at him. Then, peering through the glass, her small, pink mouth spread into a smile. Without realizing what he was doing, Tommy straightened up and smiled back.

"ARKEN!" Tommy jumped as Holsopple's bellowed snarl resounded over the boys' cheering. "Quit preening for your girlfriend! Thirty laps, Arken, move! Now, lover boy, move it!" The entire class went silent, then erupted in laughter and catcalls.

His face burning, Tommy saw Sally disappear from the window. Amid the jeering and whistles, he turned to start running his laps, his eyes on the gym floor in front of him. He fixed an image of Holsopple in his mind, concentrating as hard as he could. He started counting to two hundred fifty-six, hoping a mental image was enough to make the curse stick.

===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.

31 comments:

  1. Curious use of numbers. Spot-on dialogue. I enjoyed reading this story.

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  2. I agree, neat use of numbers. Though I do have a soft spot for squares...

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  3. I like it. As with others, I like the use of numbers, and the very firmly school-gym feel.

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  4. ROFL - and I won't pretend I blame him!! Catches the atmosphere so perfectly - I wonder if teachers really understand the damage they can do to students' self-esteem...

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  5. Ah yes, but were the curses real or all in his head?

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  6. Her smile makes that the best gym class of the year. Really enjoyed the atmosphere. Nuts to the teacher.

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  7. Poor kid :-( Gym class is humiliating enough w/o having a assholsnopple running it. Hope the curses work!

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  8. It got me right here: "Tommy would have cursed him with two hundred fifty-six, the square of a square of a square..." I want to read more about Tommy.

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  9. Savant or a little OCD? the numbers give Tommy a bit of cool complexity. And why is it gym teachers alwys have these guttural Germanic-like names? Hated mine... peace!

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  10. Great character, Tommy. I'd really like to read more about him, he seems quite interesting. And I think you've really captured the elementary school gym class experience.

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  11. Ah, the dreaded elementary school gym class.

    Tommy will grow up to be a brilliant winner of some major scientific prize, and Holsopple will be a retired gym teacher.

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  12. The numbers obsession is an Aspergers' type thing?

    I'm no expert on YA but sure sounded authentic to me

    marc nash

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  13. This was cute. Loved it. Great idea with curses and blessings.

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  14. I remember gym classes like this, although I never used the number method for my silent curses. It might have worked. Good story.

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  15. I really liked this story, Tony, and think it would be a great basis for a middle grade novel, whether his power is in his head or real. Good work.

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  16. Less slacking and more running would've solved all his problems :-)

    Fascinating thought left to the reader if the curses are real or not. I've always enjoyed supernatural activities tied to concrete mathematical or scientific formulae.

    Nice.

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  17. I find Tommy intriguing. I enjoyed this.


    ~Lola

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  18. I love the use of mathematics as cursing. Very clever. If I'm unable to read any more flash stories this week, I'm glad I read yours. Made me smile. Geeks rule! :)

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  19. Yay! You fixed it! Great story, and you capture that preteen emotional rollercoaster well. :)

    The captcha for this comment is vollyb. I hated volleyball... Should've cursed with square numbers.

    CD

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  20. Thanks for all the comments, guys!

    As it happens, one of my old gym teachers was named Holsapple; she (not he) wasn't too bad, but an hour of calisthenics was her idea of a good class. Running windsprints and relay races was about as creative as she got.

    Are the curses real or just imaginary, magical thinking? Excellent question!

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  21. An great example of voicing in flash fiction. Good stuff!

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  22. Nice internal dialogue. I kept thinking the kid was obsessive compulsive or something. Great job.

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  23. That was really a good character study piece - you really had him down!

    I just see him as a smart kid who loves math & fantasy (scifi). I know lots of those kids. But I also like the interpretation that maybe he is magic and will have his revenge - every kid's dream!

    "He didn't want to risk accidentally blessing the fat jerk by having to stop on a prime number before he'd reached a square."

    I love that line - I will have to watch what numbers I use for curses from now on, I think he is on to something.

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  24. Great descriptions in this Tony, you captured exactly how I remember gym class being when I was at school; I'm not saying whether I identify more with Tommy or the rest of the class though!

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  25. Anthony, Ganymeder, Anne, Sam: Thanks for stopping by - this was an experiment in setting the tone of a 10-year-old boy. I'm glad it sounds right!

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  26. Love it, Tony. There is no better name for a petty tyrant than Holsopple.

    And math, of course, is a prime foundation for good magic.

    Delightful and well done.

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  27. Miss A......Amisieger. A real tyrant. She loved to call out kids that were less than athletic. I wish I would have thought of a curse for her.

    Great dialogue and I guess it could be magical ....or not.

    Great job, Tony!

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  28. Glad I was saved having a gym teacher like that. Makes for a most unpleasant time. Good story.

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  29. You hooked me with numbers as curses. What an intriguing idea, even if they are only curses in the mind of the kid. I was immediately reminded of The Curious Case of the Dog In the Nighttime. You pegged the voice just fine.
    ~jon

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  30. An OCD in training. I liked the perspective, like you climbed into a 10-year-old's mind and took notes.

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