11. "You know, if you haven't gotten at least one solid best-seller by the time you're 30, you should probably face reality and give up."
10. "If you don't read at least three novels a week, you can't really know your own genre."
9. "You had to hire a professional editor? I guess you're not really very confident in your own skills, huh?"
8. "You're doing your own editing? I guess you don't really want to be published, do you?"
7. "Formatting for e.books is way, way harder than you might think. There's no way you're going to be able to do it right."
6. "Formatting for e.books is simple. Only suckers pay other people to do it."
5. "Agents are a holdover from an obsolete system. They don't do anything for you except put up roadblocks and take 15-20% of your money."
4. "Agents are essential. If you submit your manuscript to a publisher without using an agent, you go on that secret blacklist they have for smart-ass newbies. You'll never get published."
3. "What really sells is basically what's already in the marketplace, with only very slight variations. Don't try to be truly original until your fourth or fifth published book."
2. "Once you're published, your publisher, agent and fan base won't let you do anything different genre-wise, since they'll have a vested interest in you as a cash cow."
... and the very least helpful thing to tell a writer...
1. "I can't see how you can sleep at night. All those hours, all that time and heartache you've put into this thing, when the odds are that you'll never get dime one for it. How do you know you're not just wasting your life?"
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
Writing is such a bunch of contradictions, I'd say...
ReplyDeleteI adore the fact you have two number sevens. Everyone wants lists of ten. You, sir, have eleven cleverly disguised as ten, and no one cares because all eleven points are the least helpful things that can be said. You are a rebel. I like that in a writer.
ReplyDeleteYes, it seems that when one person says something, another says the opposite (wtf) - its the same with child rearing too!
ReplyDeleteFollow your gut and march through, proud. Face and attitude can carry you very, very far, as long as you're not an ass about it.
Great post. We all need to be reminded of the bull.
2 bullet point number sevens making points about editors, hmmm...
ReplyDeleteYou are spot on about these comments, but where does it leave us writers, other than to trust our own instincts?
Thanks for collating
marc nash
I do what I want, when I want. Elsewise? I'd just stop. You are your own business until you sign a blank line in a contract. Remember that.
ReplyDeleteGreat post Tony! The contradictions can certainly make your head spin.
ReplyDeleteI was actually still under the conception that agents were essential in contacting big publishing houses. I would love to be educated otherwise!
ReplyDeleteI'm embarrassed at having two number sevens! I've fixed that now, but thanks to all for catching that editing goof.
ReplyDeleteI wrote these up in a fury (well, in a snit, anyway) after a Twitter interaction with one of those condescending people who suck the life and enthusiasm out of being a writer struggling to get somewhere.
What I meant to imply, John Wiswell, was that whether agents are or are not necessary for contacting a publisher, the paranoid suggestion that there is a secret blacklist kept by the agent/publisher cabel, and that with one single mistake, you will find yourself on it forever, ruined before you even started.
Boogieman stuff, y'know?
This is great! You captured perfectly how every piece of advice we're given is almost always contradicted by an equal and opposite piece of advice. Newtonian phyxics for authors... lol
ReplyDeleteTony when you say -
ReplyDelete"I wrote these up in a fury (well, in a snit, anyway) after a Twitter interaction with one of those condescending people who suck the life and enthusiasm out of being a writer struggling to get somewhere."
were you referring to an agent? I think it's very dangerous to expose yourself publicly to an agent in realms like Twitter. Such to and fro are better done behind closed doors or by private e-mail. I never understand would be writers who harangue agents on Twitter - and I'm not saying this is what you got into cos I didn't read any of it or know who it was with - but we have to demonstrate we are relatively sane people with whom publishers and agents can have a professional and business relationship with - I think this is the black book that is kept on wannabe writer, not those who don't double space their submissions...
marc nash
Thanks for your comment, Marc. In reading what I wrote, I can see how it might sound that way, but no, this wasn't a conversation that devolved into unprofessionalism. It wasn't a discussion about the role of agents in publishing, and the discussion wasn't with an agent.
ReplyDeleteI avoid flamewars on social networking venues. I recognize Twitter, etc. for what they are... not so much the modern-day agora of constructive discourse, or even a marketplace of ideas. Twitter is a tailgate party where talk is cheap and fun's fun, but things can not only get out of hand, there's plenty of spectators to follow you home after the brawl.
Best thing to do: be polite and don't get into any brawls. I've worked pretty hard to convince everyone I'm not only sane, but would be a decent person to do business with. I'm not about to throw that away for a chance to score points in a meaningless argument.
I appreciate the concern, though.
The gut always knows. Great confusing list. Just write, and write the best you can -- everything else flows from the words. Peace...
ReplyDeleteTony, thanks for the eye-opener this a.m. You're spot-on with this statement:
ReplyDelete"I wrote these up in a fury (well, in a snit, anyway) after a Twitter interaction with one of those condescending people who suck the life and enthusiasm out of being a writer struggling to get somewhere."
As much as I love the discussion and interaction on Twitter, some days I just have to turn down the volume on all the negativity and snark. It's enough to give a girl heart-burn.
You've got a good attitude.
Nice post : D
This sums up what writers face ALL THE TIME. It's a funny list... and to me the good news is that if you are a writer and you read this list and you smile, then you're doing just fine! You can't take everything seriously... I remember a year ago when I tried to take every article and post to heart and I am had a nervous breakdown... bottom line is that you have to write for yourself and to tell stories... everything else will fall in place.
ReplyDeleteJim
Good stuff Tony, no black book entry against your name and hopefully not mine either though I have effectively been kicked out of #storycraft chat...
ReplyDeletemarc x
Darn, and here I was hoping for the secret wax stamp that would make Donald Maass accept my MS!
ReplyDelete(Good work, Tony!)
Sorry, John. Best I can do about getting an agent is to repeat the advice that was given to me: "Write an absolutely fabulous book, the kind that will make the agent snatch at the phone to call you, with the kind of incredible writing that will make it fly off the shelves!"
ReplyDeleteDamn, if only I'd known it was so simple! Here I was, having already decided to write and submit a mediocre piece of half-baked crap. That little nugget of wisdom forced me to change my whole approach.
Great stuff, Tony ... I love how the list is filled with contradictions... I've heard one or two of those in my life.
ReplyDeleteA mass of contradictions, just like everyone I know! :D
ReplyDeleteI love the attitude (from non-writers) that writing a book is easy. After all, it only takes a few hours to read it. How hard could it be to write it?
ReplyDeleteI suggest adding a facebook like button for the blog!
ReplyDeleteHelen