Lebensturm
by Tony Noland
Outside the tower
winds whip cold then hot, the gray-green sky promising the end of the world, the first fat drops thudding into the dust.
Within the tower
screens cry then , the yellow-pink fist clenched over the launch button, the first real hopes blooming in what's left of his soul.
Beside the tower
flames cough then blast, the cobalt-crimson rocket rising fast, the first of ten thousand feet of copper-niobium wire trailing out of the carefully wound coil.
Above the tower
lightning licks then strikes, the purple-white power of the earthskysea delivered and conducted, the first of forty million electron volts flashing downward.
Beneath the tower
hydrocarbon cryoslush recoils then contracts, the ultraviolet-gamma light of nanochemistry orchestrated and focused, the first pulse of life in a new, new heart.
Beyond the tower
humanity sleeps then wakes, the blood-red/dead-black newlife shaped and moving abroad, the first shrieks of the last days of the first race of creators.
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
Please note: I'm on vacation until mid-August, and will be able to respond to comments then.
Good stuff, like the shifting perspective thing which was very poetic. Also i'm a sucker for end of the world writing. The last line is particularly fantastic.
ReplyDeleteVery cool story! I enjoyed the structure, and I found it enhanced the story quite well, tying everything together. The blinking bit of text was also quite neat.
ReplyDeleteThe poetic feel to this gives the last line even more of a jolt.
ReplyDeleteCool form, almost prose poem. Good and dystopian, just the way I like my reads. Peace...
ReplyDeleteOne of my favorites of yours, Tony. This is excellent. Love everything about it.
ReplyDeleteYou really packed a novel into these few verses. Well done.
Tony. Very cool special effects and sublime piece.
ReplyDeleteWonderful orchestration and synergy in this piece.
ReplyDeleteAdam B @revhappiness
Very very very cool piece. It has a rhythm with the towers and a great sense of foreboding which you let fly in the last line. Loved it!
ReplyDeleteYou seem very tired, Tony. Also very amused by special effects. I hope you get plenty of rest and effects wherever you've gone on vacation. Looking forward to what you cook up while you're away.
ReplyDeleteI so dug the shifting perspectives. Nice experiment.
ReplyDeleteIt felt like a movie showing scenes happening simultaneously. Very interesting.
ReplyDeleteyes, the structure worked very well for this piece. And that last line...
ReplyDeleteExcellent.
At first I was thrown by the structure, but I quickly settled into a comfort zone.
ReplyDeleteAh, be careful what you wish for, for you may just get it -- the new 'Frankenstein' is unleashed. Asks that age old question, just because we can, should we?
~jon
Thanks for all the comments, guys. Obviously, I went quite far off the beaten path with this one. I'll be back to my usual prose structure next week.
ReplyDelete8-)
Brilliant, and nice structure. Glad you tweeted about that lightning rod!
ReplyDeleteI like the layout and pace of this piece and it sort of sets the story too. Great piece
ReplyDelete