Quoth Wiswell: "Make me regret the death of a horrible person based on some relationship he/she had to a living character."
"No, Daddy. You won't touch my baby. I won't let you hurt her like you hurt me."
"Shut up, you stupid little bitch. You grew up skinny and mean, prob'ly all dried up, too, just like your momma."
"You can't scare me, Daddy. Not anymore."
"Put that gun away, Candy. You hear? Put it down, now!"
"No, Daddy. My little girl is pretty and she's perfect, and that's why you want her. Well I ain't never gonna let you set foot in this house again. You done bad, Daddy. You done evil bad to me, and I ain't gonna let you do it to Crystal."
"Why, you ungrateful, ugly cunt! I made a woman outta you when you was so pig-ugly, no boy would come near you. You ought to get down on your knees and pray God I don't slap you for disrespect! Get down on your knees, you bitch! Get down! Get -"
BLAM! BLAM! BLAM!
"AAHHH... Candy... baby..."
BLAM!
"..."
BLAM! BLAM! click. click. click.
"Daddy... oh, Daddy,... I don't care any more. I don't care 'bout myself any more. Why couldn't you see that? The doctors wanted me to come to you, said the genetics was all a hundred percent certain. You was the only one could donate them stem cells as could cure my cancer. I told them I didn't care, that if you was my salvation, I'd druther die. They didn't believe me, didn't think things could be so bad 'twixt a daughter and her Daddy."
click. click.
"I know I'm gonna die, Daddy, but you ain't never gonna touch my little girl like you touched me."
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
17 comments:
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Alternate title: See You Next Tuesday
ReplyDeleteIt's still staggering how quickly you blasted this one out, Tony.
ReplyDeleteLike a punch to the gut. Still, I can't get too worked up over his death… she probably made the right choice.
ReplyDeleteGreat stuff Tony, and with a punch-in-the-gut twist!
ReplyDeleteVery heavy, sitting in my chair stunned.
ReplyDeleteumm I would say something but my jaw went slack and I'm still all agape.
ReplyDeleteBamm Bamm & Pow
Mission accomplished, Tony. Wow.
ReplyDeleteHeavy-duty. Didn't see this one coming.
ReplyDeleteWOW You went fast but not so fast i couldnt help but to read faster it was intence i love it
ReplyDeleteNot much more to say but wow. Just wow.
ReplyDeleteWow, nicely written, but I don't feel any sympathy for him. OTOH, I work with sexual abuse survivors. Good for you for experimenting, though!
ReplyDeleteThe guy deserved to die, but I didn't see the thing about cancer coming. Very nice.
ReplyDeleteNot many things I read where my brain inserts a banjo soundtrack - and not the good Bela Fleck kind. This was one of them.
ReplyDelete@ Red: I don't think I'll make Tuesdays a standard day for this kind of thing. Too much for a mid-week day.
ReplyDelete@ John: It's still staggering how quickly you blasted this one out, Tony. Some stories are easier to write than others, I guess.
@ FARfetched: The only regret is that his stem cells die with him. I used to refer to such people as only worth the calcium in their bones.
@ deanna: I'm glad you thought so!
@ laradunning: Very heavy, sitting in my chair stunned. It's a bit different than my usual fare, to be sure.
@ Paige: I think you and Lara might need to take a few minutes...
@ PJ: Thank you!
@ Ezzy: Thanks for reading, Ezzy. I'm going to blame John Wiswell, since it was his prompt.
@ johnunknown: I'm glad you liked it - thanks for reading!
@ Raven: I seem to be leaving a lot of people speechless...
@ Cecilia: Sympathy for him? No. The bastard deserved what he got, all six of them. Regret, though... only in that Candy's only hope of survival dies with him. On the other hand, if she had lived through the use of his stem cells, she'd be indebted to him forever. THERE'S an ugly thought!
@ storytreasury: Thank you!
@ trev: Funny, I had much the same soundtrack playing in my mind as I wrote it...
By 'eck! And there was I thinking you were such a nice bloke.
ReplyDeleteRuthless but then again so was the prompt.
This was very different from your usual stuff. I think the final revelation gives it a punch that sets it apart from the usual "gunshot revenge" stories.
ReplyDeleteThis was a horrible story told really really well. Imo, challenge met.
ReplyDelete