Building a loyal Twitter following, Noland style

From James Killick's blog comes the article, ""How to build a loyal Twitter following". It's a cogent article, with lots of good insights. I've copied his section titles below, but I encourage you to go read his blog, since these are discussed in detail there, along with recommendations for best practices. Still, let's see how I'm doing, shall we?

It's not about you, it's about them

Oh dear. No, no, no. It IS all about me. Me, me, me. All the time. Just me. Do I ever RT anyone else? Do I ever even TALK about anyone else? Good lord, no. That would take time that I could spend talking about me. Tony "self-absorbed" Noland, at your service. By which I mean, at MY service.

Tell 'em what they'll get

What, and spoil the surprise? When have I ever said straight out, "I'm a writer, poet and editor and I tweet about writing, poetry and editing." I mean, aside from my Twitter bio.

Tweet about what you know or what you care about

Why limit myself? "Always certain - sometimes correct" - if it's good enough for the Obama administration, then by God, it's good enough for me, and should be good enough for my readers and followers.

Share relevant content

Come now. "Relevant" is such a slippery standard, isn't it? What I had for breakfast is important to ME. The fact is, I do have a colossal ego and a finely honed wit to match. I could make a bowl of cold oatmeal funny and entertaining for my followers. Don't believe me? Watch:

Tony Noland: "I just had a bowl of cold oatmeal."
TN follower: "Cold oatmeal? Why?"
Tony Noland: "Because I'm a writer. I'm trying to build my bran."


Retweet intelligently

Hell, why start now?

Be yourself

"People hate a fraud"? On the contrary. People ADORE frauds. They LOVE frauds, so long as they are CONSISTENT frauds who are entertaining, deliver the goods on demand and are always in character. My God, look at Lady GaGa. I only wish I could be one-thousandth the fraud she is. That would make me a miliGaGa. I could *totally* live with that.

Don't block tweet #ff


I never do this because it's pretty damned annoying when done thoughtlessly. A clear win for me.

Remember followers aren't fans

Jesus, ain't THAT the truth. They're a fine bunch of folks, but fans are in love with everything you do. I'd much rather have pals, confidants and colleagues than a cadre of boot-licking sycophants who laugh at all my jokes (even the ones that aren't funny) just because I'm the one that told them. Let me tell you, post just ONE story centered around sadomasochist three-way sex, and you get nothing but strange looks for DAYS.

Be interesting

I like to think I do this on a consistent basis, even when I'm not funny. Like my old high school English teacher used to say to me, "If you can't serve as a role model, you can still serve as a warning to others." He used to say that to me all the time. Come to think of it, though, I don't recall him saying it to anyone else. I wonder why?

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