They huddled together in the corner, three girls and a boy, 17, 16, 15 and 16, respectively. The glass-paneled door looked in on the language lab; they ducked low, pulled each other close, as far out of the line of sight as they could.
Get down. Stay low. Stay quiet. Stay together. Sit tight. Wait for help.
In tornado drills, they went to the basement and sat against the dusty walls. In fire drills, they went outside, marching two by two while the teachers reminded them to walk quickly and calmly. In shooter drills, they sat on the floors, giggling, glancing and either touching or not touching, as the complex hormonal wash of teenaged friendships, enmities and blooming lusts dictated.
The first shots were confusing, the later shots were frightening. The bangs and screams and measured, ringing pop-pop-pop gunshots here and there and up and down all around them, the seeking, hunting pop-pop-pop, pop-pop-pop pushed them all into a surreal disbelief.
In the corner, not believing.
The boy's 16-year-old body, with heart pounding and blood rushing, his 16-year-old body betrayed him as they all huddled together, the warm, soft female bodies, so untouchable seven minutes ago, now pressed hard against him in the huddled tumble, their hair and skin smelling of cotton and strawberries and sweaty fear.
When the girl with her hip pressed against him realized what what she felt, she shifted away from him in automatic, shocked disgust. His humiliation and shame made him whisper an apology, and the other two girls, who were on either side of him, breasts and thighs sandwiching him, arms wrapped around him, the other two girls hissed for him to be quiet.
And in the hallway, they heard footsteps stop.
In the silence... they waited.
Get down. Stay low. Stay quiet. Stay together. Sit tight. Wait for help.
Huddled together, they waited.
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
Get down. Stay low. Stay quiet. Stay together. Sit tight. Wait for help.
In tornado drills, they went to the basement and sat against the dusty walls. In fire drills, they went outside, marching two by two while the teachers reminded them to walk quickly and calmly. In shooter drills, they sat on the floors, giggling, glancing and either touching or not touching, as the complex hormonal wash of teenaged friendships, enmities and blooming lusts dictated.
The first shots were confusing, the later shots were frightening. The bangs and screams and measured, ringing pop-pop-pop gunshots here and there and up and down all around them, the seeking, hunting pop-pop-pop, pop-pop-pop pushed them all into a surreal disbelief.
In the corner, not believing.
The boy's 16-year-old body, with heart pounding and blood rushing, his 16-year-old body betrayed him as they all huddled together, the warm, soft female bodies, so untouchable seven minutes ago, now pressed hard against him in the huddled tumble, their hair and skin smelling of cotton and strawberries and sweaty fear.
When the girl with her hip pressed against him realized what what she felt, she shifted away from him in automatic, shocked disgust. His humiliation and shame made him whisper an apology, and the other two girls, who were on either side of him, breasts and thighs sandwiching him, arms wrapped around him, the other two girls hissed for him to be quiet.
And in the hallway, they heard footsteps stop.
In the silence... they waited.
Get down. Stay low. Stay quiet. Stay together. Sit tight. Wait for help.
Huddled together, they waited.
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
Want to know what happens next.
ReplyDeleteWhat do you think will happen next?
DeleteI love the paragraph outlining the different configurations of the bodies according to the different drills.
ReplyDeleteBoys will be boys eh?
Excellent story, really enjoyed it
marc nash
Thanks, Marc!
DeleteA frightening story, and yet your detailed writing took me in the room with them, to feel the pounding heart of the boy, the mixed feeling he experienced.
ReplyDeleteAs Marc said an excellent story, that said so much in such a short space.
Some stories encompass a day, or an hour. This one encompasses about 45 seconds. I'm glad you liked it!
DeleteThis is one of your best so far this year, Tony. I know that I'm a sucker for how-you-say-it rather than what-you-say often, but the numbers in the first paragraph, and "not believing" and clever phrasings!
ReplyDeleteWhy, thank you, John! The year's not even half-over, so just wait until I get rolling!
DeleteBoys! Always thinking with their dicks.
ReplyDeleteIt's not so much that we think with them as that they think for themselves, and we're taken along for the ride.
DeleteWow... great stuff Tony. It's such a quick read but yet has SO much within it. I can picture them huddled and could imagine the true fear once the footsteps stopped.
ReplyDelete*What's next?!*
;)
-Jim
www.JBWrites.info <--- were my #FridayFlash lives ;)
Thanks, Jim! I wanted to pack a lot into a small space. I'm glad it worked for you.
DeleteI suspect, in posts to come, you'll talk about this story as one of your most liked of the year.
ReplyDeleteI think this is very good; tense, not over-told and tightly written.
It's gratifying to see it resonate with everyone!
DeleteAre they safe? About to become the next victims? Really well told, Tony. Not necessarily pleasant, but well-written.
ReplyDeleteNo, not pleasant at all, but at least it's gripping!
DeleteThe contrast between fear and lust was well balanced and nicely done. The details were great, bringing it to life and adding depth.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Shen!
DeleteThis is really interesting, Tony. Well-described from the boys position, with contrast and friction between the teenage hormones and the terrifying reality of the situation.
ReplyDeleteGreat flash, tense ending.
In this situation, with the adrenaline pumping high, all kinds of physiological reactions are possible.
DeleteI'm glad you like the ending. This is one where I'll leave everyone hanging. ;-)
Everyone except the kid that is...
DeleteTony,
ReplyDeleteI really enjoyed this. It is obviously a terrifying situation for all of them, but teenage hormones will still be as they are. Brilliantly insightful and you again allow the reader the gift of conjuring their fate.
Well done, Lad, well done.
All the best,
Paul
Hey! Tease! Ending it like that. Or not ending it, I should say. Tease! I dislike teasing cliffhanger endings, have I mentioned that?
ReplyDeleteAlso, boys and their dicks. Poor thing needs to be not excited in dangerous situations.
It's always best to relieve the tension in a story, somehow. Boner humor works!
ReplyDeleteYeah, I remember those days (minus the shooter drills) — damn wang just popped up for any reason or no reason at all.
That's weird. I left a comment yesterday but it's not here!
ReplyDeleteIt was something like: I expect at some point this story will feature in a post of yours about which stories seemed to be universally popular.
This is a great piece, tense, funny, not overwritten, with a neat ending.
If he can get a reaction like that amidst all that fear, then he has my admiration. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure I give them too much of a chance for survival though, whoever is out there is gonna come looking...
Terrifying short Tony. The tension is almost unbearable. I love the mix of confusion, uncomfortable teenage sexuality and the inevitability of something awful about to happen.. Very topical too.. great stuff as always.
ReplyDeleteAs much as I enjoyed this story (which I did, a lot), I've been completely put off my stride by Larry and his 'popping up' wang...
ReplyDeleteNow, where was I? Oh yeah... Great stuff, Tony. I really like the repeated "Get low..." mantra.
I assume you edited out the line, "Sorry, it's just my Sharpie."?
Awesome - you packed a lot into this piece Mr Noland and I love the way the reader begins to think l;ike them, constantly going over the drill lists, etc. Really good piece ... More?!
ReplyDeleteIt's a rare moment of basic human nature in an unreal situation. Very well balanced.
ReplyDeletehey Tony ... So I'm taking it this was inspired by Columbine (since the anniversary was last week)? Nonetheless, this was both riveting and horrifying (poor kid ;)) all at once. Well done.
ReplyDeleteScary and excellent piece of writing, Tony.
ReplyDelete~jon