9 Ways Writing Is Better Than Masturbation

9 Ways Writing Is Better Than Masturbation

1. If you're discreet about it, writing is an acceptable way to pass the time during a boring staff meeting.

2. You're much more likely to form lasting friendships with the phrase, "Wow, you're a compulsive writer, too?"

3. No one will ever try to sneak a camera into your bedroom to video you while you're writing.

4. Writing aids are comparatively cheap, and there is a size of writing implement to suit every taste. The options for lady writers range from  skinny and delicate to fat and chunky, while gentleman writers can put their words into something big and loose or into something tiny and tight.

5. The sensations of writing are not diminished by the calluses on your fingers resulting from frequent, vigorous writing.

6. Antique writing implements are just as fun and comfortable to use as modern writing implements.

7. Your spouse will be more understanding about you taking time to indulge in writing, and will almost certainly not ask to watch.

8. If you ever decide to turn pro with your writing, it's unlikely that anyone will make fun of the fake name you choose for yourself.

9. Spilled ink doesn't smell bad.

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