The worst part of writing a novel

There are a lot of great things about writing a novel. Creativity is its own reward, of course, since the act of being creative makes you a more complex and interesting person. (This is not to say that it will automatically save you from being a nitwit, asshat or wanker, but habits of reflective thought are a step in the right direction.)

However, despite the salubrious halo effect that writing has had on me in a global sense, I find that, in a more narrow sense, it has made my conversation impossibly tedious. Specifically, my recent blog posts, tweets, Facebook posts, etc. have been inordinately consumed with info about exactly where I am with it, what I'm thinking about it, hopes, fears, dreams about it.

In short, I'm like the guy who won't shut the fuck up about his golf game, and how he thinks his new clubs will help him in the annual tournament at the country club.

What happened to me? I used to be so interesting and funny, sometimes even informative. On one grand occasion, I tried to be thoughtful and analytical, although that didn't go so well. The point is, it was more than my book, my book, my book. Even if you cared about the status of it, my beating you over the head with it so much is bound to make you change the channel.

In fact, I wonder how many people read the title of this blog post ("The worst part of writing a novel") and skipped past it, assuming it would be another whinefest about edits, characters, beta readers, formatting, marketing or other issues related to my book. "Looks like Tony is still in reruns. Maybe I'll come back when his stupid book is published and he stops talking about it."

The worst part of writing a novel is the risk of self-absorption it entails.

So, here's the deal. I'm going to declare a moratorium on talking about my book until I get it back from my beta readers. That's probably the middle of September at the soonest. If I mention my book by name between now and September 14, the first person to call me on it gets a free copy and a public acknowledgment here. I'll also throw in a Grammarian action figure complete with First Line Hook Grappler(tm) and Dramatic Impact Gun(tm), if such a thing ever sees the light of day.

Deal?