"Can I ask you something?"
"I guess."
"Why are you so drawn to rooftops?"
"I dunno. The quiet, I suppose."
"But it's not very quiet, is it? Between the traffic on Lexington and the wind whipping around up here, it's actually pretty noisy. Haven't you noticed that we both have our voices raised? It would be quieter down in your apartment."
"Then it's the view. Or maybe it's the fresh air."
"There is no view... just other buildings. And with all these pigeons up here, the air smells like -"
"Who gives a fuck why I like it up here? What the hell is it to you, anyway?"
"OK, OK, you don't have to get pissy about it. I was just curious, that's all."
"Don't be."
"What do you mean? You mean don't be curious about why you like freezing your ass off up here? Or don't be curious about anything at all, ever again?"
"Go downstairs."
"Why should I? There's obviously some kind of super secret thing that's up here, right? Something so cool and freaky and fucking awesome that I'm not even allowed to be curious about it? Sounds like it's exactly my kind of shit. So what is it, huh? What's the big fucking attraction up here on a gravel and tar roof that smells like pigeon shit, cheap Chinese food, and diesel fumes? You come running up here practically every chance you get. Why the fuck you pay for cable and Netflix, I don't know. Not with the whole goddamn beautiful universe to soak in up here on the fucking roof."
"Fuck you."
"Hey, let's freeze our asses off while we look at the stars! OH! WAIT! There ARE no fucking stars, because we're on the corner of Lex and 123rd. Bet I can give you a great deal on some streetlights, though. Whadda ya say, buddy? Nobody else ever comes up here, just you! The whole damn sky is yours for only four easy payments of $129.99!"
"Will you just shut up and leave me alone?"
"Why? So you can commune with nature? So you can look at the ass-end of five different buildings? So you can enjoy the peace and fucking quiet? You've always been a goddamned weirdo about shit like that, but coming up here NIGHT after NIGHT after NIGHT after NIGHT! It's not NATURAL to want to be alone so much, can't you see that? Just get your ass downstairs and watch TV like a normal person, for fuck's sake, willya? Find some porn on the internet, read a fucking book, I don't care! Just GAAAAKKKKKK! ..... GHUUURRRkkkk..... ........ ......"
"All I wanted was some peace and quiet. Is that so much to ask?"
"Ghhhaaaakkkk....."
"Sorry? I couldn't hear you over all that traffic. Well, that and the knife in your throat. I'm gonna want that back, by the way."
"pppppffffffkkkk....... ......"
"See? It's not so bad up here."
"........"
"Pretty nice, actually. Once you get used to it."
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
"I guess."
"Why are you so drawn to rooftops?"
"I dunno. The quiet, I suppose."
"But it's not very quiet, is it? Between the traffic on Lexington and the wind whipping around up here, it's actually pretty noisy. Haven't you noticed that we both have our voices raised? It would be quieter down in your apartment."
"Then it's the view. Or maybe it's the fresh air."
"There is no view... just other buildings. And with all these pigeons up here, the air smells like -"
"Who gives a fuck why I like it up here? What the hell is it to you, anyway?"
"OK, OK, you don't have to get pissy about it. I was just curious, that's all."
"Don't be."
"What do you mean? You mean don't be curious about why you like freezing your ass off up here? Or don't be curious about anything at all, ever again?"
"Go downstairs."
"Why should I? There's obviously some kind of super secret thing that's up here, right? Something so cool and freaky and fucking awesome that I'm not even allowed to be curious about it? Sounds like it's exactly my kind of shit. So what is it, huh? What's the big fucking attraction up here on a gravel and tar roof that smells like pigeon shit, cheap Chinese food, and diesel fumes? You come running up here practically every chance you get. Why the fuck you pay for cable and Netflix, I don't know. Not with the whole goddamn beautiful universe to soak in up here on the fucking roof."
"Fuck you."
"Hey, let's freeze our asses off while we look at the stars! OH! WAIT! There ARE no fucking stars, because we're on the corner of Lex and 123rd. Bet I can give you a great deal on some streetlights, though. Whadda ya say, buddy? Nobody else ever comes up here, just you! The whole damn sky is yours for only four easy payments of $129.99!"
"Will you just shut up and leave me alone?"
"Why? So you can commune with nature? So you can look at the ass-end of five different buildings? So you can enjoy the peace and fucking quiet? You've always been a goddamned weirdo about shit like that, but coming up here NIGHT after NIGHT after NIGHT after NIGHT! It's not NATURAL to want to be alone so much, can't you see that? Just get your ass downstairs and watch TV like a normal person, for fuck's sake, willya? Find some porn on the internet, read a fucking book, I don't care! Just GAAAAKKKKKK! ..... GHUUURRRkkkk..... ........ ......"
"All I wanted was some peace and quiet. Is that so much to ask?"
"Ghhhaaaakkkk....."
"Sorry? I couldn't hear you over all that traffic. Well, that and the knife in your throat. I'm gonna want that back, by the way."
"pppppffffffkkkk....... ......"
"See? It's not so bad up here."
"........"
"Pretty nice, actually. Once you get used to it."
===== Feel free to comment on this or any other post.
Heehee… some people just don't get it, do they? Until they get the knife in the throat…
ReplyDeleteSome people won't accept anything else!
DeleteLove, love, LOVE this! There's something fun about all dialogue stories, but this one was just too awesome. Hats off, Tony.
ReplyDeleteThanks for reading, Danni!
DeleteAnd thus, a new super villain is born... :P
ReplyDeleteIt's like the Joker, but with less makeup. 8-)
DeleteHa ha I think he made his point!
ReplyDeleteNothing like a cutting remark to end a difficult conversation!
DeleteGuy just couldn't leave well enough alone ... I guess he's convinced now, huh?
ReplyDeleteHe always was a pain in the neck. ;-)
DeleteHuh. A grim all-dialogue story about psychology set on rooftops. Was this at all inspired by "Up High" from the other year, or are we just running into each other's topics by writing so much?
ReplyDeleteAnyway, figured the fella was doomed! Could only hear the killer, but could pretty much see him getting ready. Sort of a wind-up, you know?
http://johnwiswell.blogspot.com/2011/06/bathroom-monologue-up-high.html
I liked that story of yours, John, but I can't say mine was consciously inspired by it. It arose more because I could use some peace and quiet.
DeleteI imagined this was a superhero trying to get on with a night patrol. Up until the stabbing anyway.
ReplyDeleteWhile the victim was an ass, I was really disturbed by the sudden violence in this one.
All violence is sudden, Pete.
DeleteThat is pretty much how I felt when I went out for a cig break while at work, and someone chatty was out at the same time. LET ME HAVE MY ME TIME DAMMIT!
ReplyDeleteSome people just can't stand to let the quiet enfold them. Always yammering, yammering, yammering. A knife to the throat is just what some people need.
DeleteMetaphorically speaking, of course!
I feel like this at work sometimes. JUST LEAVE ME ALONE AND LET ME DO MY THING ALREADY! OI! Which is, of course, to say, nice work! :-)
ReplyDeleteI speak for those who have no voice (or who are too polite to use it).
Delete8-)
Sometimes I'm sure you can read my mind...
ReplyDeleteThat new ESP device I've been working on has some calibration issues, but not bad so far, eh?
DeleteCouldn't think of a more appropriate end for such a loud, obnoxious prick. Definitely had it coming.
ReplyDeleteYep. I thought so.
DeleteI felt the killer just snapped didn't he? All he wanted was a bit of peace and quiet...
ReplyDeleteLol sometimes I want to do that
ReplyDeleteI applaud you Tony, all dialogue pieces are hard to pull off and I haven't mastered them yet. You however have with top marks. Brilliant work
ReplyDelete